What Are We???

Love yourself enough to move on from people who didn’t love you enough.

"Helloooooo, you dropped your purse," was a voice I heard from a stranger running after me on my way out of the supermarket. As I turned, it felt like I had come across a walking god in human form with his melanin skin popping out like chocolate. I was still mesmerized by his look when I perceived a sweet scent oozing out from his body as he got closer.

"Oh, thank you so much. I didn't even notice something had left my hand," I said, still looking at him with a sense of awe.

His perfect teeth glistened as he flashed a charming smile. "I guess I'm your hero for the day. Forgive my manners, my name is Gabriel, and I must confess you're the most beautiful woman I've set my eyes on today. Would it be rude of me to call you mine already?" he said as he extended his hand, the cute smile still playing on his lips.

Gabriel and I seemed like a perfect match. From the very first day we met at the supermarket, I was swept off my feet. I had never felt such a strong connection with someone like that before. He was charming, funny, and had a smile that could light up a room. He was my perfect Mr. Right.

The night we made love on his 28th birthday marked the beginning of something beautiful in our lives. No one had ever adored and made me feel as beautiful as he did. The late night calls, random gifts with sweet handwritten notes attached – he was the kindest person to me after my mother. It felt like I had met my soulmate, the one who was specifically made for me. He was always there whenever I needed him.

But everything took an unexpected turn one day when I asked him where our relationship was headed. His response threw me off balance; I felt like the ground should open up and swallow me whole right then and there.

"What do you mean where our relationship is headed? I never asked you to be my girlfriend. You're a beautiful and intelligent lady, and I love being around you. We're just friends, and I'm not ready to be committed to anyone. Even a child in daycare should know that." He said dismissively.

I thought we had something special. I thought our late night conversations, the random gifts he got me, our silly jokes, and our passionate sex meant something more.

Just friends? Or was there another definition of friendship I was unaware of? He had made me believe I was his woman. He had made me believe we were in love.

Two weeks later, he came around to apologize for how he had treated me and said he couldn’t bear the thought of living without me. He wanted to make things right between us, but he still wasn’t ready for a relationship. I accepted him back, thinking that with time, I would prove to him that I was worthy of being called his woman. Little did I know that I was setting myself up for a pain that would take almost forever to completely heal from.